Every Workplace Needs Tea & Safety...

...including the Mansion House tube stop.

I like how the "Tea Point" is nestled between the safety- oriented signs.

(Sorry for the blurry photo... the phone's photographic capabilities are clearly compromised by walking. )

Premier League...

I don't know what's worse:

• That we saw "Live Premier League..." in the Sky TV Guide, thought football (soccer) was on, selected the program, and learned that the program was, much to our horror, "Premier League Darts" (Burn!)

• That a repeat of Premier League Darts is shown in HD on Sky Sports while there's plenty of Vancouver Olympics to be shown. Surely, somewhere in Vancouver, there's Luge in progress?

• That Bank of England Governor Mervyn King shares his name with darts dynamo Mervyn King. The former has probably been guiding economic policy in silence, while the latter has Motörhead's King of Kings as a walk on song. (Walk on song?)
  

FYI: Drinking during competition was banned by the British Darts Organization in the late 80s.

More fun with Pub Names

If they had a Sunday Roast, we'd have to go.

Yes, I'm juvenille...

...and this never stops being funny.

This one's for Squier.

Tomorrow's Weather: Ready the Ark

According to BBC Weather, nearly all of the United Kingdom will be underwater by ten o'clock tomorrow morning.

Hi-Viz: The Mantle of Health & Safety I

One thing I noticed early on in my time here was the popularity of wearing florescent yellow when cycling, doing construction work, or possibly even, knitting a sweater. It's just everywhere.

Why being swathed in what is locally known as, "hi-viz" is a source of such comfort to the locals, I'm not really sure. What I do know is that back on my home planet, my cycling jacket was black, and that the only thing to get me to consider wearing a bright yellow jacket was an REI super clearance sale.



In an effort to try to explain the sheer volume of it worn around London, I've attempted to document any and all Hi-Viz sightings throughout a given day. Unfortunately, there's often just too much.
The other day, I saw an entire class of schoolchildren walk by, each one wearing a reflective vest. Unfortunately, my blackberry was a bit slow, and I only got the tail end of the reflective entourage.


Thus, I've decided to give this another go, only this time, I plan to document all the discernable (to yours truly, at least) reasons why Londoners choose to don their Hi-Viz

So, I left my house, and between here and work (640am departure) with a stop at physiotherapy near the train I managed to snap a pic of:

1. A bit of hi-viz on this scooter driver ---

2. This gentleman wearing hi-viz collecting litter ---

3. Riding a motorcycle ---











4. Delivering Newspapers ---

5. Potentially Repairing Scooters---











6. Cleaning up the train at Edgeware Road
(see the reflective stripes)---


7. Fixing the sidewalk ---

8. Riding a folding bike ---













9. Having a chat ---

10. Eating
(So blurry. I'll redo this one next week.)










...and that's all before work starts. More to follow in part II!

Blinded by Mess

The English are pretty keen on health and safety. I have to go through two sets of fire doors to get to my desk at work. The trains kindly remind you to mind the gap. Workmen, cyclists, police officers, and anyone else who might go unseen wears a florescent yellow vest. The park is full of signs that threaten of the blinding power of poo.

According to these signs in Bishop's Park, up to seven hundred people are blinded after coming into contact with dog mess each year.

My question is HOW? Seven hundred people blinded by dog feces is a lot!

These signs appeared with such frequency, I couldn't help but wonder if the pedestrian paths had been the home to a regional dung-slinging competition.
or...
Were so many dog owners SO inconsiderate that that the path had turned into a fecal slip and slide, where innocent victims would slip and fall face first, only to emerge from the park blinded by poo?
or...
Did the Coucils of Fulham and Hammersmith join forces to create a blinding laser that fries out the retinas of careless, local dog owners?

Stumped, I asked Google.

As it happens, this seems to be just another example of how Health & Safety laws have gotten a bit out of hand.

According to the BBC, the threat of blindness is due to a form of toxocariasis. This article from June 2008 says that, "there are, on average, twelve cases per year."

Whatever the reason, those signs are clearly working. The path was completely clean, despite there being numerous dogs out.

If you have any doubts about the existence of the signs, you can see the faint remains of the sunbleached logo of the Boroughs of Hammersmith & Fulham near the nail at the bottom. I'm mostly impressed that the sign contains what I believe are lines representing wafting odor. My husband claims that they represent steam. Either way, it represents a fine attention to detail.

Walker's Cajun Squirrel Crisps

Just when I start thinking that maybe I've run out of supermarket amusements, another one presents itself.

We were wandering though a BP station when we stumbled across these Walker's Cajun Squirrel flavored crisps (American: Chips). Having no self- preservation instinct, I insisted that we buy them immediately and investigate.

Upon closer inspection of the bag, we determined that the squirrel chips contain not squirrel, but "Squirrel Seasoning", whatever that is. I gather it's the rodent- equivalent of Cheez. The chips are also suitable for vegetarians, which was a bit of a disappointment.




Moving on, it was time for the eating of the Squirrel Chips.
They look pretty ordinary, not like they're packed full of squirrel-y seasoning.


And how were they?

They're pretty good. I'm not sure if that's squirrel favor we were savoring, but whatever it was, we liked it.
Here's my bro digging into them before catching his flight home:


Walker's currently has a contest on for a new crisp flavor, among the contenders is this Cajun Squirrel, Fish & Chips, Chili & Chocolate, and a few others. One can read up and vote here.

No Saltines means Salticrax!

Recovering from a recent bout of food poisoning, I asked for a box of Saltines or something like what we call Saltines back in the US.

I was presented with a box of Salticrax!

They're denser than Saltines, which makes them less therapeutic on a very upset stomach; however, the name Salticrax is too funny to go uncredited.

The score is:
Saltines: 1
Salticrax!: 1

Electrifying Taste: Office Yogurt

After the flapjack incident, I went back to the snackbar on my floor at work for more because I'm a glutton for punishment.

I spotted some fruit yogurt (made by Stapleton Farm), purchased it, and went back to my desk.

It wasn't until I was half way through it that I actually read the packaging:

"25% fruit gives electrifying taste!"

Electrifying taste doesn't sound delicious. It sounds scary and being American, that says a lot.

The US is really the land of the superlative. People will describe a latte as, "Awesome!" Every movie trailer includes the term, "Riveting!" Hell, we invented Monster Trucks!

The UK is much more subtle. An exquisite meal will be recalled with compliments such as, "Rather nice". A very good show might muster a, "Quite good" or maybe a, "Brilliant". In TV adverts, A snack cake company's slogan describes their products as, "Exceedingly good".

I wonder what the target market is for fruit yogurt with electrifying taste. Given that I did buy and eat it, it might be yours truly.

Today's Weather: Very Cold & Dull

There's a candor to the BBC's weather forecast that is above and beyond any I have ever experienced from a news program.

Today's forecast promised weather that was not just cold but, "Very cold and dull".

Happy New Year!

The Underground: Late, as Usual

In addition to making many Londoners late to wherever they need to be, The Underground has also made a service announcement declaring itself (and the Green Park tube stop) officially late to the 21st century.

Ye Olde Oak American Hot Dogs

In England, some may believe that we Americans consume our hot dogs from jars.

Hot dogs in jars?

In three decades of life in the United States, not once have I ever seen hot dogs sold in a jar or with a shelf life appropriate for room temperature storage.

Alas, they can be yours for £1.49 at Sainsbury's.

Beware the Children

I just came across this photo, taken earlier this year. As I prepare to observe the end of my first year living in London, it seemed a good place to start.

I had kept a move-related blog, which was a casualty of changed addresses and banks (oops) back in August. I've been meaning to pick it back up again, and it has taken me until now to finally do it.

While my focus won't be on the relocation element anymore, my drivel will inevitably include observations on life here. Much has London has become my home, there are still frequent times where I find myself doing a double take and laughing.

This sign is just one of the many.